And when you have that resource, then what happens is you feel more in control that you can handle future adversity. Robert Brooks is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School.He has lectured nationally and internationally and written extensively about the themes of resilience, parenting, family relationships, school climate, and balancing our personal and professional lives.
These are the natural consequences of an action – not just punitive consequences from a parent or other adult, but the social and emotional implications for everyone involved in the solution.“If I am having a problem with my friend, for example, and instead of solving it, I yell at them, and then I walk away, the natural consequence is that person probably doesn’t really want to be my friend anymore,” says Kennedy.
“And maybe the other people around that person who witnessed are kind of having weird thoughts, or are thinking ‘Gosh, that seems like an overreaction.’ And so those are some kind of natural consequences that then occur.
Similarly, if your child is dealing with a peer conflict, ask her how she thinks it should be resolved, and give her a chance to try it.
When you talk to her afterward, ask for permission to share some advice.
Small or normally inconsequential problems can become insurmountable, even into .
This can cause tension and dysfunction in family relationships, peer relationships, romantic relationships, academic or professional settings – any place where differences of opinion exist and compromises will need to be met.You know that look: Your child is faced with some problem—a playmate who won’t share, a school project he saved for the last minute—and his eyes flicker up to you. Although it would likely be faster and easier for you to fix it yourself, often the biggest favor you can do for your child is to let him try to figure it out on his own.In teaching kids problem-solving skills, you teach them independence and help build their confidence.So what exactly is the problem-solving skills kids need to be taught?That problems have more than one solution, and each solution has its own effects.It’s important to step back and allow your child space to try figuring it out.But if you see him continue to struggle, offer some solutions for how he can handle it, such as taking turns or trading one toy for another.Shape sorters and puzzles are classic problem-solving toys.Board games help kids think critically and detect patterns.When there's a problem a parent can say to a child, can you think of one or two ways of solving it.So the message constantly is, you have the resources to start coming up with solutions yourself.